My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
