All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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