Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
