we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
