she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
