I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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