I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
