Swine flu. Run for my life!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
