Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
