We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
well you can't waste a boner
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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