He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Randomize