butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
