i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
