Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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