i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Someone shattered a urinal.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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