Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
