I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it glows. i had to have it.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
