Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
