saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
