I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
