Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
