let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
