sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
