How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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