Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
