clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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