I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize