dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
