Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I forget how to act sober
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
