Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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