You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
