What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
