I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She said her name was "party"
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
