i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
