Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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