Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
