I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
