Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
