I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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