wrigley field is MILF paradise
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
