What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
