I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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