He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
