"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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