Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
