i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize