I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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