they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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