So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
