Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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