Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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