You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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