Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
