i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
