I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
