ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
