I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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