Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize