Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize