Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
