I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
