Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
