she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
