3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
