I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize