get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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