Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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