1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
