Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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