he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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